Foreword
I am gay and I had a same-sex family with my husband before he unexpectedly died in 2016. I was married for 13 years and 15 years in total in a relationship with the same man. I loved him to the bone.
While “gay” is a common word describing a homosexual person, this word devaluated, in my opinion, its meaning in the last two decades. Thus, I describe myself as an androphile, which means a man who is attracted to masculinity or to men (as opposed to effeminate men).
I seek long-term relationship and family, like many of others. The only difference with regard to heterosexual persons is that personally, I feel fulfilled in a relationship with another man.
I don’t need any gay prides to demonstrate this characteristic of my personality. The same, like we don’t have “green eyed” or “red hair” prides.
What do I think about LGBT?
Like many ideas and movements LGBT degenerated over the last years. I agree with the original idea of “emancipation” and seeking societal recognition of same-sex couples. In many of the western societies and even in some “non-western” cultures this status has been recognised. LGBT movement, in the “west” has thus no “enemy” to fight with. So artificial objects to “hate” were found. Broadly speaking LGBT movement creates fake problems to justify a fight. I see a lot of so called “hate-speech” coming out for certain LGBT leaders. I underline, in my view, everyone has the fundamental right to be who one is or aspires to be. It is also legitimate to expect tolerance of others with regard to one’s identity. However, tolerance is not automatically acceptance and one cannot expect that everyone should accept, apprehend and live someone’s lifestyle (lifestyle – including conscious choices and/or genetic characteristics). There is a significant difference between tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance means respecting boundaries of others. Acceptance means assimilating and adjusting own boundaries to accommodate the accepted idea.
Today, LGBT or gender movements try to force the acceptance by trespassing those boundaries and forcing others to live lives of others. Even worse, they accuse those having difficulties with the acceptance of hate-speech, racism, etc …, at the same time using negative and forceful approach the movement accuses others doing.
LGBT movement was fighting for equality, but at the same time this equality led to new ghettos. We have now gay-hotels, gay-banks, gay this, gay that … The mainstream gay community so much touched by discrimination, started to discriminate others. Any critical arguments or even questions are considered as “an attack” or “hate-speech”. At the same time, I totally disagree with the anti-LGBT movements claiming that a same-sex family cannot give love to an adopted child, it is simply an emotional argument without any proof.
Thus, all those “movements” are not my movements because I don’t want everyone to agree with me or live my life. I accept (yes – assimilate the fact in my behaviour) that there are other believes, cultures, choices. It is not a problem for me and natural diversity is always good. The problem starts when divergent views are being forced on others. It does matter if it is islamic religion or lgtb/gender.
I recommend an interesting book of Douglas Murray “The Madness of Crowds: Gender, Race and Identity”, which discusses these topics.
Personal conclusion
Finally, my values, thoughts and desires are generally in opposition to what the mainstream gay lifestyle represents.
I think I am quite conservative. I am and always have been a monogamist… I desire a family and love. I am a very loyal and faithful person… Even though I might like some *kink*, in my dictionary of values there is no “open relationship” entry.
The same way, I do not wish any religions (any!!! not only islam) telling me, how should I live, I don’t wish those radical lgbt leaders telling me that I am a homophobe… It is my *own* personal business what do I think about myself and nobody has the right to tell me what’s good or bad. You may like or hate me … your choice… I always like to discuss and exchange arguments… But as soon as a discussion moves to emotions without willing to listen, I walk away.